Portent: Today's Lesson

“I’m not walkin’ to a fucking Office Depot”
— Shauna
“Guns don’t kill people, guns kill people”
— Michael
“Bryden - you got a good one…you were like FreakyFrogger”
— Doug (referring to people’s first email addresses)

Ruining Fridays across America

-Katie

Katie: This cat isn’t that smart. He just trained it to always pick the middle one.
jP: You understand it’s a loop right?
Katie: Shut up. It’s early.

Katie: This cat isn’t that smart. He just trained it to always pick the middle one.

jP: You understand it’s a loop right?

Katie: Shut up. It’s early.

“People usually describe my copy as condescending”
— Applicant

Nick…

How old were you when the Thong Song came out

— Doug
“Stalin was a little hot”
— Katie
“I’m not using anything that’s baller”
— Elizabeth
“Their billing system (AdCenter) is about as intelligent as a box of rocks.”
— Elizabeth