Portent: Today's Lesson

“I’ve had an Ecuadorian Butt Lift. I don’t know what the difference is, but I’ve heard they tickle more.”
— Jack
“Bryden - when’s the last time you got the meat sweats?”
— Doug Antkowiak
“Play Lump!”
— Doug Antkowiak - to the Presidents of the United States of America
“Jim Carey’s finest work…….was the butt-talk”
— George Freitag
“I’m not walkin’ to a fucking Office Depot”
— Shauna
“Guns don’t kill people, guns kill people”
— Michael
“Bryden - you got a good one…you were like FreakyFrogger”
— Doug (referring to people’s first email addresses)

Ruining Fridays across America

-Katie

Katie: This cat isn’t that smart. He just trained it to always pick the middle one. jP: You understand it’s a loop right? Katie: Shut up. It’s early.

Katie: This cat isn’t that smart. He just trained it to always pick the middle one.

jP: You understand it’s a loop right?

Katie: Shut up. It’s early.

“People usually describe my copy as condescending”
— Applicant